I always used to tell my W how beautiful she looked even if she was all sweaty and a mess because I truly thought so. She would catch me looking at her and say "what" and I would say "I'm just looking at you." That's all. Text during the day to say 'I love you" things like that you get the picture.
Since the S I haven't done any of these things for obvious reasons. Well, I did tell her She was looking great after continuing to lose weight and toning up this was back in Sept. I haven't said anything in a long time.
Since I moved back in Dec I have watched what I said in regards to appearance and such so it didn't look like I was sucking up. This was one of the 180's I was trying because my W always thought I was sucking up or clingy when in reality I meant it all the time and she didn't think highly of herself so she was projecting those feelings about herself on to me.
Now 9 months in she has continued to lose weight and all but I still haven't said anything to her. I have been kind and said nice things about how she pays bills and other things just nothing about her appearance.
She did tell me back in October that I didn't do the little romantic things correctly holding hands, hugging enough, I thought I did these enough but validated her feelings.
She is feeling much better about herself these days regarding her appearance she is getting tons of compliments from everyone, just not me.
It is time to think about a 180 on my 180 and compliment her on her hard work and determination to lose the weight she has and that she does look really good?
Im torn between doing it and not because on one hand she probably will be repulsed that a compliment of this nature is coming from me, but on the other hand, maybe she is thinking it is "more of the same" from me since she commented that I didn't do it enough in the past.
I wouldn't be saying it everyday or anything like that just maybe once every couple weeks if that. I was always very supportive of her wants to lose weight and in fact, participated in losing weight with her so we are both looking better she just has more time on her hands then I do to go the gym and really put forth a full effort because she is not working. Although, I do manage to still get there somewhat regular.
Thoughts?
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
