She left - 2

[gogofo]

The talk about cake eating was me exploring my feelings and getting them down in writing. I was free forming writing to just let what ever came up flow out. I then go back and read what I wrote to examine it. Looks like you guys beat me to the punch.

The feelings of punishment or that she may be cake eating are barely there anymore. But, when they do come up I try to fully examine them to find where these feelings are coming from and work on myself and these feelings. My feelings about this are not as strong as they may have come across in my post.

When these feelings come up and I am doing my self examination I try to place myself in her shoes and "imagine" what she may be feeling. I am becoming more sympathetic to her situation and have been able to empathize (there is that 180 goal again) with what may be here feelings and perspective. Forcing myself to see things through other peoples eyes has really been helping with my empathy development.

I highly doubt she has done one bit of cake eating and I know in my heart it is not all puppy dogs and roses in her life. Although she did get a puppy because "I never would have let her", I know... more of the mean LBS.

I have been thinking about Easter for a while. My plan is to do an egg hunt with the kids and build them each an Easter basket. I will invite W to attend, but I am not going to hold back or wait for her response. If she wants to be there she can be, if she opts out then that is her choice. The door will be open for her, she can choose to enter or not, no judgment from me (this is the important part, my feelings need to be detached from her actions).

Thanks again for everyone's help.