H called me last night and said he felt he needed to be clear with me how he was feeling and that he wasn't going to tell me because he didn't want to get my hopes up but he felt he owed it to me rather than have me second guessing... he said that he was beginning to seriously think he's made a big mistake ending things and that his feelings are changing but he's really scared of ending up feeling the way he did before and ending up trapped and unhappy, he's also scared of agreeing to give things a go then regretting it.
We spoke a lot about things and what would have to happen for us to move forwards, I told him that I wasn't asking for him to move back in or remarry me i'm just asking for him to cut contact with the OW and to take baby steps with me and see how things go. He said he wanted to cut contact with her anyway but is scared because that's making a commitment to move forwards with me, I was a bit naughty and said that we both knew that wouldnt happen because its means him actually taking action and that it was about time he stopped sitting on the fence and decided what he wanted... he got all flustered and said that he needed to cut contact with everyone so that he can figure out exactly what he wants because me cutting contact last week really helped cos he realised how much he missed me, I said if that's what he wants that's fine and ended the call.
He text me this morning saying "I dont want to cut you off, we are getting on well. I dont even like her and havent seen her for a bit now".
I text back saying "So why do you want to cut contact with me but not her - you'd rather loose someone you could be happy with for the sake of someone you dont like!! Do you not see how insane that is?!"
He's such a coward!!! He can make a decision to walk away from his family but he cant make a decision to be friends and see what happens?!! He's too busy worrying about the "what ifs" to enjoy life, he's just miserable & will stay like that the way he's going. I'm just going to leave him to it - not playing his games or being pulled back into his web!
Arghhh rant over, phew I needed to let that out!
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
