For most of us it takes a hard shake to wake us up. Maybe your H woke up a little. Maybe you've also changed which has created room for that change.

My IC and I talked last week about how my H has changed. We've been together for a long time and I am really surprised at his behaviors at time. He's doing a lot of things I had wished he would do in the past, without my interference.

I controlled pretty much everything in the past, I didn't realize that's what I was doing but I had that 'can't say no' flaw, and no patience for H to do things in his time, in his way. I had my expectations of perfection smirk so I jumped in a did everything, resenting it all the while.

Now it's different. What my IC helped me see is, I stepped aside and gave him space. Dropping my expectations and my judgement (of both of us)gave him room to be different. He doesn't feel pushed aside or controlled by me.

Keep giving space, you too might be surprised.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss