Waywards almost always blame others, usually the LBS, for every problem and conflict that they face. In this case, you are being blamed not only for his having to leave you, but for him being away from his kids. You probably also caused global warming, gas prices to rise, and the Malaysian jet to disappear. You are not alone in having a wayward spouse saying hurtful, ridiculous things to them that everyone BUT the wayward sees as crazy.
Likely, the OW is feeling the heat on her end too. She's probably applying pressure on him to leave you, perhaps even criticizing the way in which he interacts with you. He doesn't want to put any blame on himself or her, so you get ALL of it. That's why I suggest avoiding any interactions with your H. By interacting in this "tit for tat" way, you're making things worse. Let he and his OW have only each other to complain to.
Do you think they have thought through what life will feel like for them when they are both paying child support and spousal support? When they have to split their time between two sets of children? They have no idea how pinched they will be for time and income. They will have no money left to go out and have romantic trips and dinners. Real life would hit them square in the face. That's pressure....
Stay clear and let the two of them unravel themselves. By pointing out to your husband that he caused this you aren't helping things along- you are just making him dislike you more. Leave him with a NICE picture of you. Stop the needling!
