I think I belong here #2

[Georgiabelle]

Praying,

It's difficult. I think everyone can relate to your feelings and thoughts. Everyone's marriage has issues, none of us just thought we would be here.

I'm not an celery like so many others that share advice here. However, this is one thing that has helped me greatly. I don't like my new h. I just don't. He is not someone I would be friends with - muchless someone I would have 3 kids with. That's who he is now though. And our R is done. It's not going to turn around in a hour, month, or probably even a year.

That being said the things he does are less hurtful. Instead of feeling pain, I just feel weird that my formerly devoted and loyal husband refers to himself as a playa (a word he hated) and hangs out with his new 26 gf. If it wasn't so sad , it would be comical as he has become every cliche in the book. Some of the things the kids say are funny and sad because the older two at 9 and 10 see it for themselves. Even the 4 yr old sees stuff as well.

My point is that your h is a different man. As much as you'd like, he is going to "switch" back. Yes, you may see glimmers although you will see things you don't like as well. You cannot change it. Back off. Yes, your marriage like everyone else's had issues and you have things you can work on to improve yourself. And you should. Always focus on being the best you can be and enjoy your children. This is all on your h. He can only walk this journey. He also must own all that comes along with this journey. With every decision, comes consequences and that too falls on your h. That's why everyone says to leave him be. It truly is HIM and not you.

Look at this time with your kids as a unique gift. You are showing them strength in adversity and that life sometimes throws you a curveball. It would be wonderful to wave a wand and make things go back to normal. However, as sad as I may feel sometimes, I truly believe this happened to me and my kids for a reason. It's only been a few months since BD, and I can say our house has a sense of peace. I miss h and I know the kids miss their Dad. However , he's not here right now in any sense of the word.

Take care of yourself.