I think I belong here #2

[praying_in_GA]

Ramblings:

I am tired of being on a rollercoaster of emotions. I am tired of walking on eggshells. I am tired of being in love with my husband. I am tired of not being able to love him how I want to. I am tired of stopping myself from saying "I love you". I am tired of feeling like life is a game. I am tired of worrying over everything. I am tired of analyzing my life. I am tired of being in this situation. I am tired of being me. I am sad. I am lonely. I am tired of crying. I am tired of reading. I am tired of thinking all.the.time. I just want to be loved. Be happy. Be wanted. Be everything to someone. Be the one he wants. Be enough. I am exhausted already and it has only been 6 weeks. I am tired of feeling like I do it all wrong. I am tired of wanting more. I am tired of not being hugged. I am tired of crying alone. I just want an arm around my shoulder. I want a shoulder to cry on. I want to let it all out and be told it's going to be okay. I am so sad and so tired and so broken and I am tired of it all. This is exhausting and I don't even know if it is worth it. I am hopeless for my sitch. I am hopeless for my marriage. I am a mother and a worker and that is all. My life is work and kids and constant worry about my marriage. I am broken and I am tired and I am lost. I just want my husband, my family, my kids, to be loved, to be whole....to be happy. I am tired of being broken.