GB, Thanks for replying. I am trying to build the best relationship I possibly can with my daughter. She and I are very much alike, both in appearance and personality, and have a really great relationship. I find that I'm more patient with D7 with H not being here. He could be very moody at times and that cloud not being around is a positive thing.
My H not valuing his relationship with our D7 is a tough pill for me to swallow. I was raised by a single father after my parents D'd when I was seven (hmmm...the same age my D is now). My mom was around only when it fit into her life. My sisters and I never felt like a top priority for her. My dad on the other hand was amazing. It took well into adulthood for me to really build a relationship with my mom. One of my sisters has had an even harder time. I did not want that for my D, but it looks like that's what my H has to offer, at least for right now. It makes me angry because this is not the man I married. That man would not prioritize quasi-friends over spending time with his d. It's incredibly disappointing. In addition to that, it makes me like him less and less, which causes me to wonder how I could ever be interested in R with him.
Also, my D7 shares her thoughts and feelings with me, and not so much my H. He really isn't good with feelings, unless they're his own. He's a terrible validator. So, I'm the one who gets to comfort her when she cries about missing daddy and when she freaks out asking if we are getting a divorce. He doesn't see any of that, so I'm sure he gets to keep his fantasy in his head that this really has no effect on her.
