Long time reader - first time writer

[Cnfused]

Going back to Pre-October 2012 and some of this may be in some earlier posts. But you asked and I hope not to bore you. I thought our marriage was pretty good. We had good days and bad days, but mostly good. I work more than average hours and provide well for our family.

I have 3 S's from previous marriage, which W helped raise. They are all adults now and living on their own in different states. My W's relationship with them has steadily gone down because she has a difficult time letting go of any wrongs or perceived wrongs. But I know her and our perception is her/our reality. I just wish she could let things go and move forward - children make mistakes growing up. God knows I did! The S's have tried to reach out to her and let them know they want to have a good relationship with her. She did not respond to any of their requests. If this can be fixed they need to do the work - I can't fix it for them.

W did not have any children and wanted to so I had vas reversed and started trying. We ended up doing IVF two times, she became pregnant and miscarried both times. Obviously we were devastated both times. The Dr said wait a couple cycles then we'd try again. Before we went back for IVF she became pregnant and now have our S.

My W has a lot more free time and works fewer hours. I've never had or have a problem with that. Before our S went to school she was able to stay home with him. When he started school, W got a job at the school and pretty much works the same hours as school. So she is available for him pretty much 24-7. I worked, spent time with family, drank, played golf, watched sports in person - son's games, college/professional and on TV. Thought this was what people did... Thought life was good for both of us.

I now know that I took our relationship for granted, did not make her feel special, even though I always new she was/is.

Then back in October of 2012 she told me she wasn't happy. Didn't know what to think but I knew I wanted to try and fix R/M. Started doing 180's before I even knew what they were. I stopped drinking, but will have an occasional beer or two out out with friends - never with W at home or out to dinner with W. I honestly can say I don't miss it. I know I was doing it to cover up or mask pain and not have to work through it. I now look back and see that alcohol masks pain but also true happiness. Now I experience both and feel I'm really living!

I started trying to make a connection with her texting and/or a couple of phone calls during the day, just to let her know I was thinking of her. I started dating her again. Tried to show her and tell her how important she was/is to me and our family. Started some new projects around the house and finished some that needed finished. Started doing probably more than my fair share of household chores, but she had for years -so I certainly wasn't keeping score, I'd say she's still way ahead if I was. We went to MC and IC but that did nothing for R. She never said the D word, so I was just trying to do what I should have been doing all along.

I also started praying, reading books and looking at internet sites to try and figure out what I could do to try and save our marriage. Why do we look to God when things are bad in life but rarely praise Him when things are good? I'm probably the only one that does that - same as in my M. Now I give thanks and praise even in the difficult time I'm in because I know He is trying to make me into a better man, husband and father.

That's enough for one night. I will try and pick up where I left off and post again soon. I will also look at your stitch, but still don't know if I can give much advice - so it may just be encouragement at this point. Wish I would have studied harder in typing class.

Hope you all have a good night! Your words of encouragement are deeply appreciated.