I'm so sorry that you find yourself here. I know your going through a lot now but you need to detach. Who's paying the price though for your husband behavior? You. By being so stressed out. And nothing's probably ever going to change if you don't detach and let him fight his own battle.
This isn't about who's right. This is about you taking care of yourself so you stop exhausting your energy and your happiness having the same go-rounds with him every time this situation comes up.
I do absolutely 100 percent agree that it is not fair to deal with someone's abuse, but at the same time, life is very tricky and complex. It's not like because we have a specific, very frustrating problem in a relationship, we then have to dump the entire thing.
My rule of thumb is this: If you're not getting enough out of the relationship? If your happiness ratio is less than 30% then yes, break up. But if there is more good than bad, and your gut tells you to stick it out, then here are some ways to cope.
