So I am generally in a better place and generally happy with everything except my marriage! I have set boundaries for me.. he talks about how he is in a bad place.. actually is mor eopen about how he feels but much less open about what he does with his days.. I don't care or see any point in pursuing by questioning.. which was a big deal for me.. We have not had R talks but talks about relationships.. ie he was stating that asking questions about his day was controlling..he listened when I explained from my perspective it was caring and when he did not ask it felt like he did not care.
we talk a couple of times a week.. he works long days.. I do not ask how he spends his weekends.. my boundary.. i do not want to hear..
I am wondering how to deal with or not his accusations.. that I am trying to manipulate him.. he actually sees most of the world trying to manipulate him
so I ignored a few.. but he saw that as me agreeing that my request is manipulative..
The last manipulation on my part was in an email.. he is helping me find a new apartment.. we were trying to find mutualy convenient times.. My comment was I will say what I need he can say what he needs or wants or can do and then we can figure out what is possible as far as dates, times, places.. his reply was " and u get what u want"...
I was going to leave it but I will not agree through silence that i am manipulative or controlling..
I said that felt unfair to me. my proposal was we listen to each other and find a place we are both happy with..
Is there other ways of wording this. I did not want to sound aggressive or accusatory.. I wanted to write HOW UNFAIR etc.. but did not any other ways of wording this sort of comment
