H: What's wrong? Me: Nothing, I'm doing great!! What is it that you needed? H: ummm, nothing, just wanted to see what was wrong. Me: OK, well I guess I'll let you go then, I've got things to do! Bye! H: It seems like something is wrong. Me: Nothing is wrong. I'm fine. H: I can tell that something is on your mind. Me: There's really nothing I want to talk about. H: Don't lie to me. I can tell there is something you're thinking about. Me: I'm not lying. I'm just saying I don't want to talk about it. H: OK. Are you just upset about the usual thing you are upset about? (meaning our separation) Me: A variation on the usual, yes. I really don't want to talk about it. H: You want to talk about it. You just don't think I want to talk about it. Me: I really, really don't want to talk about it. Nothing good will come from talking about it. H: Don't make me pull it out of you. Just tell me what the variation is. Me: Fine. I find it hurtful that you are so willing and eager to repair your relationship with your dad and your sister, but you aren't willing to do any work to repair your relationship with me. And I'm the mother of your child. Our relationship will likely be the one that most significantly affects her childhood. H: Ugh. I can't tell you anything. Everything is about you. Me: That's where you're wrong. As you've well demonstrated, everything is actually about you.
See above edit. I think you recognize this went pear-shaped right away. DO NOT SHARE YOUR FEELINGS WITH YOUR H. You LISTEN and VALIDATE, nothing more. He set you up and you crawled right into his trap. He kept baiting you to share your feelings just so he could punish you once you did. WAS's often provoke the LBS into arguments so they can justify to themselves their reasons for leaving. Don't give him the ammo!
