living with WAW who hasn't walked yet (2)

[trc2009]

Dealing w/ the finance debate as well Z.

We've always had a joint account. The problem we have is my wife doesn't work and I fully support our family. The decision for her not to work was a joint one we made after our son was born but of course she was hesitant but didn't tell me because it was more practical at the time. Of course that led to resentment, etc.

So, W is actively looking for a job and should have one in the next month or two. She has some decent prospects. She won't be making a lot ($10-12/hour at best) but she desperately wants to contribute.

After a long debate, here's what we decided is best. For the most part we live paycheck-to-paycheck but don't go without. But we don't have much extra spending cash for things like clothes, guy/girl trips, mini-vacations, etc. And whenever one of us wants to do things, we have to take it out of the joint account. Which of course you have to ask each other if it's okay because it's our only account and we feel guilty since we don't have a ton of extra cash.

So we've decided we're going to do this once she gets a job.

We'll each have individual accounts where our paychecks get deposited. She'll start paying bills that apply directly to her (student loan, small credit card, gas, phone, groceries, etc.) plus she'll put in 25% of her paycheck into the joint account for child expenses, vacations, savings, etc.. That should leave her with about 25% of her paycheck for "her stuff." It won't amount to a ton of money but about $150-200 every two weeks. Easily enough for her to save or if she wants to get her hair done or buy new clothes, etc.

For me, it's the same thing. Now, I make significantly more than her so it makes sense for me to pay for more. I'll pay all housing expenses, daycare expenses, car payments, insurance, etc. I'll deposit 25% into the joint account for stuff for the kids, vacations, savings, etc. And about 10% of my paycheck will go for stuff I want to do. Which is about $250-$300 every two weeks. If I can't live on that, then I'm spending too much money.

By doing it this way, we both agreed we will no longer have to feel guilty about her going shopping or getting her hair done. And I won't have to worry about feeling guilty for going golfing, buying tickets for a football game, etc.

The ultimate goal being that we can live our lives without constant worry about spending the other's money.

Hopefully that wasn't too wordy but it's something W and I have been discussing here recently because we both agree that we both need to have more of a life so we have outlets outside our marriage.