Wants to leave again after a month!!!

[ye21]

I think I have brought myself down in his eyes too many times asking him to work on this marriage. He came back on his own this time but it's only been a month. I can just say here this is what we have. let's sell the house, continue to work together in our business, and you move out.

He came back in his own time.....

OR

I can tell him to build the basement like he has been wanting to. Build his man cave instead of the money he will spend on an apartment rental. He can spend his time there if that's what he chooses and can sleep in the spare bedroom upstairs or wherever he wants. I will stay out of his way. I think it's important for him to be here for me and for the kids. It will save us money. It will keep him in his home of comfort. He told me when he came back last time that leaving is the hardest thing he has ever had to do. How can I let him go again?

You can tell him whatever you want, at the end he will choose whatever he chooses, and the only recomended thing for you here its to detach...

Look this sounds crazy but this is the way I see things in my life now and how I reach to conclussions....when something hurt us we are affraid to deal with the pain so we think and do things to have the less amount of pain possible, we escape from that pain by pushing things and interfere in the universe....
What about to just live with those emotions? At the end material things are just that, material things that we acumulate in order to value ourselves based on those material things....
We are more than what we have and thats a hard point to reach, I am not advicing you to loose everything, I am suggesting you to step back, relax and follow your innerself rithym, now you are following the fear rythim and its moving you to find solutions fast, take your time, your decissions today might be different tomorrow....dedicate this time to work on yourself and dont interfere in your H life, let him take his own decissions.

I know I need to open up the cage doors and I will. But do I give him an option to also stay in the house or just go along with him leaving and call this over? Once he is gone I am done trying. I can't take the pain anymore of him going and coming.

There is a deeper cause for this, pain its pain and you can live with pain and go thrue a healing and let the pain behind...
But what I see here its fear of the unknown, you "need" to have everything figure it out in order to feel more safe and with less pain...
We can not tell you what to do because your life its yours and the universe its already taking care of your life....we can tell you to work on yourself and allow you and allow your H to live his own process....

Think about this....spouses get out of the Marriages because they are not happy correct?
That means that in order to be happy they have to find what mades them happy....they are the ones who have to find that happiness, if we have found hapiness we tell them hey honey this is what its going to make you happy, at least this is what made me happy, follow this and you will be happy too...

There is were we interfere, we bring our EGO to show our loved ones how they can find their own hapiness, and at the end none of this works....they have to find their own happiness and yes probably they will do mistakes untill they find that purpose in their lives, but we cant assume GOD role and think that we know what their happiness will be....we just dont know.
My suggestion for you its to focus in yourself, there is no need to interfere and you interfere when you are trying to take the "right" solution, again focus in yourself and see with pacience how things go...