WH, I could have written a similar synopsis. It's so important to take the time to go back and look at who you were when you met your h. Being young contributed to the decisions we made. Like you, I didn't realize that my xh's past would eventually destroy our future. He had big issues, mostly hidden from me. But there were red flags. I ignored them. I thought we loved each other and building a life together felt wonderful. The red flags were still there, but there was so much good that I focused on that. As it turns out my xh can't really love anyone. It was all a lie. So, why was I so susceptible to his charm? What was missing in me? Why didn't I walk away and cherish my self and my dreams? These are all things I've given a great deal of thought to. I understand you feeling like your "picker" is broken. Instead of thinking about that work on creating a life that you absolutely love. Work on feeling whole. Then you will be in a good place for choosing who you let into your space and your heart. You're the gate keeper.
