Take Two ...

[Train]

Well, Starsky. You've pegged one of my biggest issues: I don't KNOW if it's a legitimate pre-A complaint of his. He hasn't complained to me about ANYTHING because I've told him I don't want to talk about any of our issues until he's broken off his A. Even during our M, he never complained about *ANYTHING* I did ... or didn't do. So I have NO idea what, in his mind, I did wrong.

Maybe I should open the floor to that discussion at some point, now that things have calmed down a little. At first, I didn't want to hear his complaints because I *KNEW* he was just lashing out with "rewriting-marital-history-in-the-throes-of-an-affair." It's pointless to try to talk to someone about real, legitimate complaints in that mind frame. My thoughts are: As long as he's with her, he is going to rewrite our marital history, and I'm going to be a villain.

I'm just doing a lot of self-reflection and have identified my responses to his work frustrations as something with which I could have done a lot better.

I cannot be his BFF right now. That's too painful and, in my opinion, one HUGE mixed signal. And I exposed the A in a BIG way. So I guess I've already broken some of MWD's guidelines.