Upwards - DB myself to happiness! #2

[Upwards]

I agree with Breakdown. Makes sure to take things really slow and protect yourself. I have found that it is A LOT harder when the WAS is nice. It is much easier to keep working on yourself and not getting caught up with the WAS when they are anger or mean.

He's never really been angry or mean, he's been quite nice all the way through, its made it much harder to detach but its also been slightly less painful I suppose.

It is good to hear that he has ended things with the OW. However, she really does need to be removed from the equation completely. Your H probably needs time and he is the one that needs to decide to completely cut contact.

Yeh I want him to decide to do it because he feels its the best way forward, I dont want to pressure but at the same time I dont want to allow him to walk all over me & cake-eat... I just really dont think now would be a good time to push because things have been so positive it may scare him off.

But when I looked at this actions, they did not support what he was telling me. He did not cut ties with the OW, is considering moving into a new place, etc.

I'm sorry he wont cut ties with OW, its so hard isnt it I fully understand where your coming from and I absolutely wont move forwards with him if he's still in contact and thats a firm boundary. I really hope your H see's sense 3bm, he's a bloody fool if not!!!!

I feel like right now I need to give my H a couple of weeks and watch him, see if he continues to move towards me and his actions match up and if they do then i'll bring up my boundary and see what he says - if he's not willing to go NC with her then i'll go NC myself again until he is, just want to let him process his feelings a bit more first as like he said this morning his feelings are changing (and obviously thats what I want!!) and I dont want to frighten him off.