Upwards - DB myself to happiness! #2

[Upwards]

That is huge....but I would be looking for him to cut all contact with her. As long as he has some contact with OW, there'll always the risk that they'll fall back into it. Unless you set it as a boundary, he'll probably be of the mind "we can still be friends" or "its ok as long as I don't sleep with her." People tend to convince themselves of ways to keep that door open.

I totally get where your coming from & I would much prefer him to go NC but I also want him to do it because HE decides to and not because i've told him to if that makes sense. He's changed all meetings that she goes to now so wont see her (he hasnt said this is why but I think it is) and thats the only place he would see her - they started out as "just friends" and he had sex with her once, its never been anything more than that I dont think.

I did ask him to cut contact a few weeks ago & said I would be happy being "friends" and in contact if he was still persuing her so i'm a bit stuck right now because on one hand I dont want him to think i'm just allowing him to ignore what I said (as I want him NC if we're friends) but on the other hand because things are going in such a positive direction I dont want to enforce the boundary and scare him off...

I'm thinking of maybe waiting a couple of weeks and then do it? What do you think - i'm a so unsure!