own buz 25:mediation to reconcilliation, STFU !

[makingmagic]

I also stated don't do/say things to appease me... he questioned it... I recalled our hangout hug time at my place a few weekends ago... He said, no.. that he liked it too.. very much. And then also pointed out that his "coffee times" are about his requirements. He is trying to create happy "nice" moments.

I have come to realize too that he is basing his decision on money and his head. He is letting my responses and actions and money dictate how he feels about me. Lets suggest that he gets everything and p!sses me off in the end. Will he be happy sitting with his wallet? IF I lose my legs, will he still love me??? Do feelings matter? If I have a bf, or if I love him back. He won't commit to his feeling.

I fear that my questions/concerns affect our relationship (business & personal). If I ask business questions that he doesn't like, or feels I should already know, or is irritable/busy, etc ... he holds on to it and says we are "arguing/fighting". He fears that our arguing/fighting is unacceptable and holds "me" accountable. I fear that having a personal or business disagreement gets added to the list of "bad things MM has done" (yes, there is an actual list!!!). I fear that I am not safe. Safe in the sense of loved unconditionally (whether we disagree on a work/personal issue or not). I don't want a relationship where I fear that if I don't follow suit, or if we argue that our relationship is at risk.(more pretzelling).