I went for walk/run on the riverfront after work. It was great to get some fresh air and work off some stress. H was working on his truck when I arrived home. He was upbeat and spoke as soon as I got out of the car. I was polite. After my shower, H came in and gave me some more cash for the bills. He acted as if all was fine but I'm sure he noticed I was not in the funny haha mood. He asked again if I was angry and I repeated what I said last night{I am not angry, I am concerned about you lying to me about the recent incident}. He continued to say that the pills were not his, he called his workers, asked why I don't believe him, yada yada yada. This time I explained to him why I do not believe and trust him. He said he was tired of me accusing him when has not done anything wrong and just tell him if I did not want to be with him. (Shifting the conversation) Another one of his tactics so I called him on it. I told him that I was tired of having to question him about these things. That he's an adult and should do with his life what ever it is that he wants openly and freely but he could not use me as a doormat, standby or safety net in the process. I suggested that we separate and walked away. This was a big/bold move for me as I have taken so much verbal abuse and head bunts from H in the past 2 years. He appeared to be shocked by what I said and went outside. He came back inside after 30 minutes or so and started talking as if I did not say a word. As I was getting in the bed, he offered to apply ointment to my sore shoulder (weight lifting injury). I told him I had already applied the medicine but he insisted on reapplying it and massaging the sore area. Later he asked if there was anything I needed before stepped outside to smoke. Well, I am not phased by his behavior. I am fed up with him being so nonchalant about this things that are important to me and I told him so. He doesn't want to discuss moving into another bedroom. I will be keeping my eyes open and putting a padlock on my heart for awhile.
