Separate and Filed walking on

[paul19510]

I went to my S12's hockey clinic tonight. the Art of body Contact. he learned to give and take a check properly. Hitting, hitting and more hitting. he he he. Very relaxed now

W seems calmer now. I did send her an email after speaking to my L. She cannot "force" the kids to go with her on custodial nights. If they choose to stay home with me, that is their prerogative. I have explained it and they understand that they may choose to go or to stay depending on what they have that night or how they feel. if they wish to be home, they may stay home.

I told W that I spoke with L and we'll try to mediate with just him at first and see if we can craft our future together with guidance and then hire a L for her to make sure its a fair deal for her. She agreed to this approach. We'll see what happens.

I told W that this is not ultimately what I would have chosen, but I accept her wishes to not be married anymore and I am moving in that direction.

[unbidden]

God bless you and your family. You sound good and strong. Take care and know that we're behind you.

[MamaB]

I think that the physical outlet is great for the kids. Good for you for getting them to practices and games. They will always remember your involvement. I'm glad that your W is in a better place for now, that is good for all of you.

[melissag]

Sorry, Paul. I can empathize - the legal process is tough, and it is even worse when one of the parties is uncooperative.

I hope you are able to resolve everything quickly and without too much drama.

Hang in there.

[paul19510]

Sorry, Paul. I can empathize - the legal process is tough, and it is even worse when one of the parties is uncooperative.

I hope you are able to resolve everything quickly and without too much drama.

Hang in there.

M, is interesting that W wanted all of this despite my protests over the months and years to the contrary. But she's not jumping on anything now that we have the situation in motion. she reminds me of a teenager. I get stuff done and then she complains if its not to her liking but she rarely helps. Seems that way even with this D. She complained that the court ordered custody mediation was a conflict to her work schedule. so, I asked her for alternate dates as I don't control that. she didn't provide any dates....

I don't even want all this. I just wanted ....well you know what I wanted. Tough I guess.

A friend of mine said a very interesting thing. he's from NY and has a heavy NY accent and was brought up in a very traditional Jewish Family. He's very laid back and in his mind, life always works out for the best. "... God is good...." is a common phrase for him. In other words, things will work out. Just keep moving and have faith that good things will be a part of your life. Its like TED Talks and Shawn Anchor. Please look that up if you haven't already. its amazing. anyway my friend said gently to me...If she doesn't want to be your W anymore, let go. you can't make her want that. its going to be ok.

So my friend..."God is good...." its a nice day and all is well

[paul19510]

thanks for checking I on me too MamaB and Unbidden. I feel the warmth from so many others here it helps.

[labug]

Your friend is wise, I would just add her not wanting to be your W isn't about you.

[labug]

W seems calmer now. I did send her an email after speaking to my L. She cannot "force" the kids to go with her on custodial nights. If they choose to stay home with me, that is their prerogative. I have explained it and they understand that they may choose to go or to stay depending on what they have that night or how they feel. if they wish to be home, they may stay home.

I told W that I spoke with L and we'll try to mediate with just him at first and see if we can craft our future together with guidance and then hire a L for her to make sure its a fair deal for her. She agreed to this approach. We'll see what happens.

I told W that this is not ultimately what I would have chosen, but I accept her wishes to not be married anymore and I am moving in that direction.

Do you think it might be better if the L sent this information to your W?

You don't have to be the middle man. Let go of taking care of everyone.

Take care of you.

[paul19510]

I agree that was my first and oast step. I was trying to facilitate based on my convo with L. She's not really doing much despite her irritation at the process over the weekend. I'd like to get moving. She doesn't seem so eager.

[paul19510]

Journal: I met with the school guidance counselor and nurse today for D16. We worked out plans for accommodation for the rest of the year. I arranged appts and therapy schedule s for her. I made sure that all other sports and activities for the other two kids are being addressed. I am tired and my situation is weighing on me this morning.

My workout went well today. I continue to work on GAL stuff to include group activities, meeting up with nee people for time out to relax and socialize. Its just on days like this...it rings in my ears and it bugs me that things are going the way they are these days. I have to accept my reality. I can't say I like it this way. Still I have no wish to return to what was. That's not an option even if I wanted to. I'm just tired and questioning all of this today. How is this "better for everybody. .." ?

Feeling alittle sad. Just letting it be.