Take Two ...

[Train]

Yeah, good ... considering the alternative(s). But I still feel I MAJORLY blurred a boundary-line last night. I've tried to figure out a way to "correct" myself. But the words I come up with in my mind seem to fall flat. So I've decided that maybe I just shouldn't say anything. But I *THINK* I know my H pretty well. And once that boundary was blurred, I think he'll think it's permanently blurred ... or at least blurred until we have some inevitable disagreement/fight. I don't know how I'll handle it - or what I'll say - if it happens again.

I really screwed up.

He texted this afternoon to check on S7 and told me to call him if I need anything for him tonight. I thanked him. Then he texted to ask if I dropped off his paperwork at my atty's office. I told him I had and needed him to pick up the kids a little early on Thursday because the L needs to see me. I HATE having these discussions ... and try to avoid them at all costs. But H seems quite pushy about it ... less than 24 hours after his hands were venturing places on my body they didn't need to go.

H approached D17 for the first time post-BD last night when he was here and apologized to her. He also apologized to me last night for "taking everything so far." He mentioned - again - that if we ever decide to reconcile, we'll "start completely over." I've refused to talk about our M or R. We didn't speak beyond that.

I KNOW I need to stop mind-reading and fretting and reading into EVERYTHING. But I feel like SO much change in his behavior is happening all at once. And I also know it could all go back to how it's been just as quickly.

This is hell on earth.