Wow it has been 4 years now!

[AnotherStander]

Good grief, I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I posted! Time is zipping by! Everything is great, as each day goes by I actually feel even more excited to be leaving my M behind! Even though I was the LBS I suspect that I feel more free than my XW, I really feel liberated! It's awesome! I'm in the process of getting the loan squared away to compensate XW for the D settlement (half the house, etc.) I got a killer deal on a 15 year loan- 3.875%. If I pay half of each payment early (basically pay half the payment twice a month instead of the whole thing once a month) and make one extra payment a year it'll be paid off in 7-9 years, so that's what I'm shooting for. I've been pretty busy but I've been carving out time to do fun stuff too, like Saturday I rode my Harley to go see a bike show with a live band, it was a blast! Rode back with 7 other Harleys, they MADE me drive fast

How long did the whole process take? Once you decided on D? If you did not agree on everything how long would it have taken?

Well there's a 60 day "cooling off" period in Texas, my XW filed the petition last August and had her L draw up the decree, but then she sat on it for months. I finally requested the decree and we sat down and went over it and marked it up. If she hadn't backpeddled, the D could have been completed in about 2 more weeks. Because of the backpeddling it was delayed again while she kept trying to add more money in (for her) while I tried to reason with her (I'm so silly, thinking I can reason with a WAS! Have I learned nothing? ) Anyway, once I agreed to her inflated numbers it took the L about two weeks to modify the decree and then just a few more days for the court date. So it's conceivable that a D could happen in just a little over 2 months between filing the petition and finishing up in court, but I've talked to a lot of divorced people and it seems like delays always pop up. Some other states have longer cooling off periods, I think the longest is 1 year.

Welcome to Surviving. Maybe some day they'll change the forum heading to Thriving after Divorce.

Betsey, that's awesome, I love it

Comparing it to the wedding day, it sure seemed like a pathetic end to all the time we shared and the children we produced, and all the experiences and growth that took place.

Exactly, it pretty much ends in a whimper, doesn't it? It starts surrounded by well-wishing loved ones partying and enjoying themselves and ends in a cold, outdated courtroom with a grey-haired judge staring down and a room full of bored onlookers listening in.

As far as the real reason goes, I'm pretty sure that if your XW had given you the effort you deserved into creating the marriage that you wanted, you wouldn't have had to make that choice. So... congratulations for having a green light and taking advantage of the process. Hell, you had to have *something* swing in your favor, right?

Thank you! I'm sure if she had made the choice to try, we'd still be together now. But I will never forget her refrain from BD through D- "I just don't want to try." Hard to combat apathy!

I do miss Blue Bell ice cream down in the South...the best packaged homemade ice cream in the US!

Now I want to go to the store I haven't had any in a while!

Now that you're officially D, we all now can bring in our Scotch and amaretto to your house without having to climb in the back windows.

ROTFLOL! Forget the house, let's take it out to the pool! I'll fire up the margarita machine too!

When you get the chance, please do swing by my detention center, The Breakfast Club. You'd be glad, for once, to be locked in a room with us.

Awesome, I'll do that!

I am sorry to here it ended this way, but glad that the D process went smoothly and that you got the partnership. Best of luck.

Thank you! The partnership has really kept me hopping! It's a good kind of busy though!

Good luck with your partnership.

Sounds like good things are ahead.

Thanks, so far so good... no make that GREAT