Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[dingo]

Thanks again for your support Bug. My plan is this:
She's said she is 100% sure this is what she wants. She's said she is not willing to give up the OM and that its too late and we'll never work. She wants to get on with her life and divorce is the answer to that. I told her to do what she needs to do to make that happen. That's how I left it with her - nothing else was said.

I will not communicate with her unless its business related to the divorce or a genuine willingness to discuss our M with the intent to rebuild it. She has until 5/1 to get the divorce restarted or fully commit to the marriage (no OM, set plan for how to reconcile, etc). If she doesn't do either, I will restart the D. If she restarts it and has second thoughts, I'll give her 30 days from that point to proceed to the next step or fully commit.

I think this is the best I can do to not completely close the door to her but move in a definite direction at the same time. It may come across as still holding on to hope and I guess there's a part of me that does but at the same time, I think I really do understand her mind and where she's at better than I have before. I understand that its going to be a long time and I am pretty sure that I am not willing to wait that long without definable progress.

What have I learned? How long do you have?
I guess the most important lesson I have learned is how much easier it is to maintain a relationship than to fix one. A little bit of work every day is a lot easier than a lot of work all at once. A little bit of thinking before acting goes a long way. I look back at some of the things I did and really feel like I should have known better, but I just didn't.