Today started off good. Shopping, household chores and dinner. H was doing his part with no complaints. Things seemed to be going well until I was changing out a load of clothes and found a herbal Viagra wrapper in the well of the washing machine after cleaning H work clothes. I asked him about it of course. He said a box of the herbs were left in his truck by one of his workers. He put the box in his truck while cleaning it out and one of the wrappers must have been left in his pocket. I asked who was in his truck and he mentioned several workers but did not offer any further explanation. I expressed how upset I was by this and yet he did not try to call anyone to calibrate his story or offer any extended apology. He just wants me to except his word for it. I must say that I am steaming mad right now. I don't know what to believe but I do have a question. Why would a worker take Viagra with him to work????
Yes, H finally admitted to sending money to Mexico. He said it was due to a gambling loss. I'm not confident that he's telling the truth but I have no way of confirming so I let it go. I wish he would have been more forthcoming in the beginning about it then I would be more inclined to believe him.
I didn't have much to say to H last night. Before bed, he asked if I was going to stay mad at him or let it go. I told him that I was not angry but I did not believe him. H then said that I crucify him, everytime I say that I do not believe him. This was hurtful because it is never my intention to make him fell this way.
I felt if it were truly not his, he would do everything he could to prove to me that it was not. He was very nonchalant. As a mater of fact. We did not say our usual good-bye this morning. He was up all night on the internet. When I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. He closed it.
I agree Starsky. Sometimes others can see better than the person that has the upclose and personal view.
Blinded by my emotions and I'm not sure what my next steps should be. Is smoke enough to react or do I need the fire to rain down on me? I don't like feeling like this at all. I can't go home and pretend this is not affecting me or act like all is well.
Tough decisions, LaPoo, and I'm sorry. I know this is extremely painful.
Personally, I would either confirm it once and for all, or I would just assume he was lying and plan my life accordingly, whatever that may be. Is an affair a deal-breaker for you? It isn't for everyone.
The initial affair was not a deal breaker and that is why I forgave him, joined this community for support and agreed to remain in the M. I could handle a round two of that and lying just drives nails in our already vulnerable M. It seems to just come from nowhere or perhaps I was just blind all along.
If he's up all night on the computer, I would put a keylogger on the computer he's using. That'll tell you soon enough.
WARNING, however -- what you might see is NOT for the faint of heart. Mine turned up "older woman younger men sexual positions" one night, and when I got the email report in my inbox, I had an anxiety attack. Literally couldn't breathe!
Maybe you could have the email report sent a trusted 3rd party? I dunno, just a thought. Most here will tell you "no snooping!" but I think you may need to protect yourself, even if it's "just" a gambling problem. Wiring funds to Mexico and finding Viagra wrappers are pretty big warning signs.
He's either on his phone or computer. He spends alot of time on Zello which is a text and partyline.
You are absolutely correct. Definite warning signs and I need to protect myself against anything he may be doing. He did not use protection during his A so there's no telling what I could be in for. Because of the lies, I cannot trust anything he says.
It's a lovely day and I'm going walking after work to really think about my next steps.
