So I screwed up royally today. He told me that when the whole work thing is fixed he is getting a divorce. I told him that I am not there and probably will never be there. But before that I accused him of having an affair with his BFF and got pretty mad. I smoothed it all over before he went to work. I don't want a divorce and our kids are so young - 7 and 5. He says he has been trying for years. I know it is because he is in love with his BFF. The thing is that it cannot come out that he is having an affair, as he would be in more trouble at work, and I don't think he has the balls to tell me. He won't tell me about the work thing because his lawyer said - I think he is waiting for the divorce because he needs me to help for his work. He also is trying to blame me for the break up, his troubled childhood, and his troubles at work. I told him if he wants a divorce to leave - he said he won't leave and I cannot force him. All this on the 13th anniversary of his proposal. He is trying to make me believe he had been trying for 10 years and had told me things were bad - it is not his fault that I realized when it was too late. I just don't understand how someone I loved and still love could turn opposite in one day. Even friends, family, and his coworkers notice the change. I have half a mind to hire PI to get pictures of him and OW - so I can turn them into his work. I cannot believe he has lied to be and a LAWYER. I wonder if he even realizes he is lying or is he that delusional?
What should I do? I have been doing last resort and detaching from his life with his BFF, but this is hard with him in the same house. I know I cannot change his mind. But I seriously need help. I have not figured out how to make myself different other than doing more things with my girls. I am really limited as we work opposite shifts and I do not want to get a sitter so I can go out - I am a home body. Any advice on changes? Please give advice or quotes whatever is greatly appreciated. As I a going nuts at this point.
