Magic, Forgive me if I'm wrong, but didn't you just tell a little white lie to your SO? Aren't you going away w/your church group? If that's the case, where did the international school come into play? I don't see the connection, if there is one, please enlighten me.
As for his bad behavior, it's par for the course when they are going through some issues. The best thing you can do is step back and allow him to fight w/himself and not add fuel to his fire. Nope, it's not acceptable and you will need to call him on it.
BTW, I forget to address the outdoor potty situation...that was disrespectful to you and he should have gone around the corner and not done his business in front of you. Whether he likes the outdoors and doing his business outside, I know he knows better and I would venture to say that he wouldn't have done that in front of your daughter, his mother or any other family member.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
