GB - Thanks. In the light of day it does make me laugh. He named xw1 satan in his contacts. She and I should start a club and start gathering our minions. (Kidding)
The other funny thing he said today was I was brainwashing s and taking him to a cult (unitarIan church) and yelled fot 10 min about $4500 that I DID NOT spend 10 years ago when I looked into joining a different, very affluent congregation. After repeating 2x that we never joined and never spent that money I just said your right I am sorry and walked away
I just keep taking notes for the book I am going to write one day
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
. I journal everything too. I'm positive we will both have best sellers.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Sorry you found those ugly texts. I finally stopped snooping a while ago. I don't know if reality or my imagination is worse. I do know that when I snoop I lose focus and go down that awful road of crazy hurt and emotions.
You have learned a lot over these months and you had a hiccup. No big deal. You've got this.
What church would your H prefer your s attend? Certainly not one that supports his (lack of) morals and principles.
I just got back from a womens retreat this weekend. It was great! If you ever get a chance to do that, you should go for it. Wonderful prayer, meditation, and bonding with other women.
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
I have been worried that this whole thing would make me bitter. I have seen that happen to people and I have been so conscious of watching my emotions to make sure that wasn't happening. I think I am going to be ok because. ..
This morning when I was getting coffee I overheard the girl working (young early 20s) talking to an older gentleman. She was talking about how she is marrying a guy she has known for a few months. The man said he was married for 50 years before he lost his wife and throughout his entire marriage he kept learning from his wife.
I think if I was going to be bitter that would have been the moment. Standing between all the hope and optimism that h and I had in the beginning and the vision (Expectation) I had of us growing old together.
Instead I was excited for her anf a little nervous for her as well jumping in so quickly. And both happy and sad for him.
And sad for me. I did go into my store and cry. But no bitterness.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
I worry about the same thing. I have ugly moments of anger and bitterness and recognize immediately how awful it feels and how unhealthy it is.
I think awareness is the big key here. We know the options for paths we can choose to walk.
Our H are so unhealthy right now. I am getting better at deflecting the anger and not taking it personally. How are you handling those things?
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
Blues. I am also getting much better at deflecting. The events of this weekend hurt but I really don't let his words bother me or take anything personally anymore. It helps that I have caught him in so many lies. I just don't believe anything he says.
In other news today is my birthday. Started off badly with a stomach bug and s having a huge tantrum but got much better. Got some unexpected flowers and gifts delivered from friends. H called to say happy birthday but got off phone as fast as he could. Mil and fil called too. The nicest surprise was from my mom. I have felt like she doesn't understand the path I have taken. She doesn't get why I haven't just filed or really get how I am trying to transform myself. She sent me a card with a pic of a woman meditating. The message was "May your forces of light Kick the a$$ of forces of darkness." She said she saw it and immediately thought of me. So maybe she gets me more than I thought.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
Happy Birthday Julie!! I hope that your day continues to improve and that you are feeling better.
It really is hard for our families to understand that we have decided to stand. My M just wants me to file so it will be over and so I stop letting him off the hook. She likes it will make things all better. I keep telling her that it won't and will simply guarantee that I am D which I dont want. The card does sound like maybe she does get you more than you thought.
Awesome card from your mom. I think that our family wants to protect us and for us to stop hurting, so they say D and move on and get away from that person...but we know the reality is that more/different pain will be involved.
I am fortunate to have family and friends that encourage me to fight for my family. I am becoming indifferent to H comments. They no longer have that gut punch effect. I am used to the lies and bull chit. I hope his counseling will help him heal.
Did you do anything for yourself today? Treat yourself Julie-you deserve it. The phone call from your H was a nice gesture. The little things, right?
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
. I journal everything too. I'm positive we will both have best sellers.