WAW...Again

[stumps]

Did you ever meet someone who has cat that, if you try to approach it and pet it, it runs away? No matter how nice you try to be to it, no matter how much coaxing, the more you try to get it to come to you, the more it backs off and runs away. But, if you ignore it and just go about your business quietly and confidently, it will come out from it's hiding place behind the couch and approach you, and if you don't show too much interest it will tentatively sniff your hand or rub your leg and then if you show it just the right amount of attention it will suddenly start to purr and snuggle you.

I've realized that, right now, my wife is that cat.

I don't come to her, I let her come to me. Right now I don't pursue, but I do respond as skillfully as I can. Every hug, every request for some small affection I consider a tiny victory. They might not mean anything, I can't take them as signs she has changed her mind. But, for example, when she left this morning for yoga she came into my home office and walked over and gave me a good solid hug before leaving. She didn't need to do that, but she did. And if I'm going to engage in some kind of accounting of our situation... It's better she did that than walk out the door with nothing more than "good bye" or "see you later"...