Reaching out for support and advice 4

[bluesgal]

The retreat reminded me on a deeper level that I have to worry about me. My life, my prayer, my children. H may or may not ever come out of this. It has to be his choice on his time. I get to decide how much I am willing to endure or tolerate. I feel so much better after this weekend.

H had S for the weekend and they had a good time. Friday I brought supper home before I left for my weekend and H was sick (again as usual) and slept a lot. Very distant and 'foggy'.

On Saturday I got several texts from H telling about the Legoland day him and s were having. I got pictures and updates-very thoughtful and nice. They had a great day and I am so happy for them. They both needed that. Talked to H on the phone that night and he was a motormouth sharing with me.

I got home yesterday and they were still lounging at noon. S was hungry so H asked me if I wanted to go out to eat. I said sure and we went to a good little hole in the wall food place in our town and enjoyed a really good meal. Things seemed normal! I was dressed really nicely and was very confident. We spent a lot of time together and then H went 'home' at 6pm and texted me a couple times to say goodbye and have a good night.

This was the nicest and most communicative I have seen my H in months. But, like my mom said: "Don't get your hopes up"

And I won't. I am really focusing on keeping expectations to zero.

I might mention it is kind of a big deal for H to be seen with me and the kids in our town since the announcement of our Separation. We have not been seen together in our town since January. He has actively avoided anywhere he may know someone.

Best part of the weekend? The paperwork for his counseling arrived in the mail. I have hope that he really tries to work out his chit as Wonka would say