yes... this is an issue for me, as I know what has happened in the past on these types of issues. I know what to expect from him. This is the stuff that I would try to stand up to him and then get his opinion (not a full partner, not working as hard as him, made to feel guilt, etc) and then get reprimanded about it many times later. He would bring this stuff up later to remind me that this is what I did.... and he didn't. So yes, I do have the fear of how to tell him and yes, it is control.
I know I need to take back my control of me. I always had fear of hearing his "wrath" and reprimand and it be used against me. Here is the thing, I have stood up many times before, as I am now.... but HE doesn't accept. So, not really sure what I can do differently?
Another thought came over me on the weekend. Yes. I have allowed his rejection of me, assist in fuelling my own rejection. I need to really realize that I have FULL VALUE, and not push it down to suit/accomodate him regardless of his MLC crisis or not.
I will be telling him today about my travel for the upcoming weekend. I know I shouldn't care what he thinks, however I do want to make the right statement, as I don't need to make him (my business partner) so comfortable with my whereabouts.
"xh, I am booking this weekend off, as I am going away to a meeting in NY".
If I tell him that I am going to NY... he will think shopping (and get annoyed) If I tell him that I am going to a meeting... he will think, ah...she's just with a group of women (safe) If I tell him that I am going away ... he will think shopping (more annoyed, avoiding work during busy season).
Maybe I should just say "I'm going away this weekend...not shopping"...or is that gaming?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
