Thanks Ye21 and Sandi for that advice. I am leaving on my business trip today and my biggest concern is that it will be my first time away from the situation since it all kicked off. I am concerned about the boys considering how detached she has been regarding them (she could hardly wait to leave yesterday which really annoyed me considering it was mothers day) But it will be a good test for me regarding having some time away and I can gauge how I am really feeling. Because I am so busy at home with the boys and with work etc I haven't had much time to myself. I will be resaonably busy while I am away but I will have a fair bit of down time as well and will be spending time with work colleagues and we have a night out organised so that will be good. I know what you are saying Sandi about the vunerability, I do tend to display that even when I am trying not to. It almost seems like I want her to see it thinking that it might make her feel bad and want to come back but of course I know it has the opposite effect. She is so strange around me at the moment also, almost like she is a million miles away. She makes minimal eye contact and is quite curt and brash in the way she speaks to me. I have ( or did have) a good sense of humour and we had a number of little jokes and funny things we used to say to eachother in certain situations. One of them came up yesterday and I made a comment along the normal lines. She just raised her eyes to the sky and grunted with disdain almost as if she resented me for reminding her that we used to do that sort of thing. The other test for me regarding my trip is that I have never really enjoyed being away, I really missed my family and we had a routine of calling and certain messages we used to send when I was away to make the trips more tolerable. I always loved getting home after them and she knows how much I hate them. It is going to be so strange being away and not having that. But I do know that I have to start this DBing properly to stand any chance. I think she is displaying all the signs of a MLC as I have read a lot of the threads regarding this and she matches lots of the symptoms described. The LRT is probably not where we are at just yet but I will go there if necessary.
