Nobody is telling you that you have to run file for D. "Considering where our M seems to be going" is not giving quite as strong self-intentions as saying "we're headed for D".
Thanks for the smack, Sandi, you're right to call me on that early so that I don't let that burn into my brain only to accidentally slip out later. I really didn't mean that to be taken literally (in spite of the quotes!). I am not running to file. I am not going to propose the worst case outcome, nor will I suggest that I'm going to be the one to put us there. No ultimatums, threats, no timelines. In fact this isn't even the message. This is just a justification for having a shared responsibility, transparent financial management plan, rather than a Zew-does-all plan. And as you said, a justification that lets her know I'm not being totally naive.
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You aren't wanting to rescue her from her own CC debt, but give a management plan that works best for the family.
Correct, this is just a healthy way of handling things that we should have done long ago, and bad on us we didn't, and it will serve us well going forward, and give her a much better understanding of what it really costs to run this show. I also have to work in handling of her work expenses so she can track those properly for tax purposes. I already know it will be a tough sell. She is highly skeptical of spreadsheets and formulas, and she will not trust me because math is my thing. I'll be hunting down textbook illustrations and collateral info for this, too, so that it isn't my plan. And if it comes across as condescending or controlling, she'll resist.
Fear not, I'll ruminate a bunch on this, look at it 8 ways from her perspective, reword a dozen times, and sound it out here.
As always, thanks for your input. I'm sure you know how valuable it is to have input from the WAW perspective. I know I really appreciate it and thank you for your service to this community.
