Yes labug you are right I am making up a total story about his relationship that I shouldnt even care or be thinking about. Thats why I write about it here. Sometimes I am too embarrassed when I create these stories in my head to even admit to them on these boards. I get embarassed that close to 3 years later I care.
It makes me feel lame that I care about him and it makes me feel lame that I care that he rejected me.
Portia - I can totally relate to how you have become less of a work aholic - me too. And its been for the most part a huge blessing. I am able to let go of work when I leave work. What a miracle.
I had my 2nd session this weekend with a hypnotist. I started going 2 weeks ago to really focus on stopping pulling my hair out. This week she wanted me to relive the moment I realized that I f-up this week. She wanted me to imagine that moment again so we could change the pattern. It was awful to relive the pain I imposed on myself.
She really was pushing me to be kinder to myself for messing up but I could only focus on going back in time and fixing my error.
This need for perfection is something I really really need to work on.
Life is good. I am so lucky
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
