living with WAW who hasn't walked yet (2)

[sandi2]

She'll bounce it off her T and girlfriends this week.

.......and the OM.

- or I can wait for reality to hit her. The trendline says she hits her CC limit in 3 weeks. Then I can implement it as a solution.

I would see it as being more of a "rescue". If you are going to wait for reality to hit......then don't recue her from it.

She wants an ipad or similar for work. She's asked about 3 times. I really haven't responded except to tell her to determine what the requirements are for the apps she needs to run

Do you believe she needs it for work?

It will come up again within next couple of weeks. An opportunity to remind her that if she isn't into working on this R, we are headed to a place that doesn't have me buying ipads.

I'm considering this: (so check me!)
Ask W if she has given any more thought to working with me on us.
She will say either that she isn't ready, and is still working on herself (stall), or that she is "done".
To which I simply state "This M won't last long if we don't start the work."

This is different from a R talk.......how?

I know that MC is useless if she isn't there of her own volition, and until A is over.

Exactly!

Maybe she will get that she isn't fully in control of the timeline.

No, she won't see it through those type of actions. She will see you trying to force her to stay in the M............not that she is losing control of the timeline. The only thing that will cause her to have those feelings...would be for her to think you were dumping her a$$ b/c you deserved better than her.

Just trying to throw a reality jolt into this fantasy. That there is something to lose.

What are showing her she's losing???? By asking her if she has decided what she wants yet, and trying to get her to go to MC?

Also trying to establish that to save it, she has to make a move. Yes, I know she doesn't want to save it right now, but then she owns that. I know she's concerned that I'll be the one who will be able to say I tried and she wouldn't. I don't really have any expectations from this, but it may at least establish that she is not on firm ground.

But you are still trying to talk your way into her fixing it....and talk does not work. This will not establish any of those things in her mindset.

You know, it occurred to me that she may be in such denial about the A that she doesn't understand why I'm not persuing her now

Nope, she's not thinking about you perusing her. Furthermore, she doesn't welcome it.