Maya, The description of the stages and the timeline are nothing more than a guide to help you at first. Just like grieving, there is no set guidelines for that and you can bounce back and forth throughout many of the stages.
As for no contact, it's a really good way to detach and give you time to heal, but also gives him time to put his focus on himself and his issues. When he needs something, he'll contact you...they always do. I wouldn't worry too much w/the silence for now.
As for his family distancing themselves from you and going dark, it's very normal. Blood is thicker than water and for now, you don't know what they've been told by your h. Many times, the family will finally connect the dots and come to realize that their child is in crisis and will begin to warm up, but it all takes time.
For now, keep the focus on you, watch your finances and credit card statements, just in case he's using them. Do not contact him unless it's an emergency or about finances. The less you contact him, the better. Why? Because contacting him looks like pursuit to him and he'll continue to run the other way. Dig out that list of things to do and start working on those hobbies and projects. This is your time to do the things you've put on the back burner and also a time to learn new things. This is a time for you to get back in touch w/your inner self and if you don't like some of the things you've been doing, then change them. Whatever changes you make, they must become permanent.
As for your h, you didn't break him, you can't control him, nor can you cure him. It's his journey to find himself and he must go back to the time where he was stunted emotionally in young adulthood and grow up from there. BTW, it won't happen quickly because his clock is on turtle time...slow.
Keep the focus on you!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
