WAW...Again

[stumps]

Just kind of journaling here I guess...

I have to keep reminding myself that the lingering goodness I see in my wife's behavior may very well be, and most likely is, illusory... I want to take it as a sign that she's having a change of heart, but for all I know she's just keeping the peace and trying to make things look as normal to the kids as she can until she gives me a move-out date and makes a suggestion as to how to tell the kids.

There hasn't been any talk about the relationship since she dropped the bomb, 6 days ago. At that time I told her that while I didn't agree that divorce was the right thing for us, I understood how she felt and that she had to make the decisions that she felt were best for her (trying to validate while respectfully disagreeing; I would have liked to have said to her that she needed to take into account the kids' well-being when making decisions, but I managed to keep that to myself). However, I also told her if she wanted a divorce, it was going to have to be her work not mine... that I wasn't going to take on the job of planning her exit for her. Instead, she could let me know when she wanted to move out, and how she wanted to discuss it with the kids, and what she thought a fair custody/child care schedule would look like, and I would in-turn let her know what I thought was agreeable and we could try to hammer out anything that wasn't. Not 100% sure that was the right tact to take, but I just can't see sitting down with her and helping her figure it out. I told her I would't stand in her way, but I wouldn't be an active participant. I think I deserve that and owe it to myself.

So at any rate, I have to keep reminding myself that the pleasantness in our relationship right now may only be for show...or maybe it's genuine...but there is no way to know and either way I can't let myself believe that it means she's had a change of heart. Because at this point it is extremely unlikely that she has.

Detach, detach, detach...