Crimson......still just checkin' in.

[25yearsmlc]

Crimson

If I were in my h's shoes, and knew what I as his w know, (as in, how hurt our daughters were when he left, despite their pleas to him to stay)

I'd have a hard time wanting to live....

But my h says he's willing to "get naked" and become vulnerable in the Therapists office and so next week, we'll go.

My point is, his absence hurt them deeply, which I BELIEVED would happen and which I told him back then. But I moved forward b/c I had to.

I just didn't realize how hard it would be, years later, to see our girls suffer from depression and anxiety and need therapy and each one say "my dad IGNORED me/us for years", which is how they see the separation, years later.

I'm not having a great month but I actually am trying to make a positive point here.

It's this: YOUR son knows you love him and want to be with him. That matters. He'll never feel rejected BY you. As for his r with your ex w, my dear friend, try what I am trying, which is to step back.

Support what you can when you can, and hope to God your son doesn't resent women later on...but don't take it all on yourself. I'm proof that it doesn't work and it stinks to feel this way.

Torn in different directions, and trying to bridge gaps between others, that cannot be our job, can it? Of course h's r's with our kids affects how I feel toward him, which makes this all so complicated.

Take a break. Imagine if you were to meet a woman who loved you as you are, and loved your son too...

would that really be so bad? I KNOW it'd be more ideal if your x w came around, but let's just imagine that doesn't happen.

If she's never going to come around, what are YOUR options, other than moving on?

And if she is going to come around, how is you waiting for her, speeding that up?

(I think it's slowing her 'progress' down). But hey, we're here, all rooting for you.

((( )))