k_g, Just wanted to respond to some of the other points you made here.
Originally Posted By: keep_going
Wishing,
Nobody is asking NLW to excuse, defend her H's behavior. I suggested that she doesn't add any more to their pain. I know it's not on purpose, but we can all fall into this trap.
This is a timely reminder, and i took it on-board last week, so thanks k_g. Hope I don't let it slip too much again, and hope someone will call me on it if they see.
And I think NLW will be the first one to tell you that her reactions - in front of her kids - to things her H has said or done has not always been the best.
Yep!
My point is that WE, as the "sane" ones, like NLW, can try to make this situation less traumatic and chaotic for our kids. My point is that WE don't need to ADD any more to the saga that our selfish spouses are bringing.
This really hit home for me.
No matter how good we are as parents, we can always improve and if I see there is something concrete and constructive she can do to help her kids, why can't I tell her?
k_g, I appreciate it, thanks. I feel like I get a lot from others' perspectives, and I often struggle, so keep it coming, please.
NLW's H is clearly not right. So she and her kids will need tools to deal with the next crazy move - and they will keep coming - after D, after he marries OW, and forever. So it is how SHE reacts and the example SHE sets for her kids that will make the difference here.
Yes, I needed to hear this.
I don't think there is anything wrong with telling her that. The beauty of this forum is that we can get support, love, kindness and also well-indended and much needed different perspectives to our own thinking, which ultimately is what helps us grow.
Absolutely - although I will admit that it was nice to see people taking up the cudgels to support and defend me where they thought it might be needed... thank you ALL for the support that you so unfailingly provide here.
