Wait a minute. Don't get confused over who is in which roll. She is the one who has to prove herself. If she was a drug addict who would sell her grandmother to get her next fix, would you feel like you had to reveal a separate account then? Well you better think of this situation in close comparison. Someone has to be the responsible guardian and protector over the family.
She cannot be trusted with knowledge of the total funds, and frankly, I think you would be taking a terrible risk by not having a private/separate account as protection.
The transparency is for the unfaithful/irresponsible/untrustworthy spouse to have opportunity to give accountability that they have changed are staying on the straight & narrow road.
Don't misunderstand the intent here. You are getting confused over 180's and showing her good faith? I see LBH'S do that quite often on the board. But the burden of good faith is on her. You do have to be in a parental role much of the time when you have a wayward wife. She is just as rebellious as any teenager could be, and you best not forget it. And until your M is healthy.....DO NOT start acting like you have to prove that you can trust her, while she is clearly untrustworthy. That's crazy! She would not honor your trust by making sure she did not violate it. A WAW in an A simply does not care, b/c she's going to do whatever she feels like doing.
She must be the one to prove she can be trusted by her H. And until she does.......don't do it.
Don't make this an issue of deception on your part. It is PROTECTION!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
