If you had a chance to read my earlier post, you already know that I am the W of a porn-addict and have seen the terrible affects of porn on my marriage and self-esteem. I want to get the perspective of married or divorced men on this forum who have dealt with porn addiction. I am just trying to understand if the hurt I felt because of my H's porn addiction is shared by other wives of porn addicts or am I really an odd-ball case.
I have four questions related to this issue:
1) was this addiction kept secret from your wife?
2) Did your porn addiction affect your relationship with your wife ?
3) If your W was aware of your porn addiction, then did she feel hurt with this knowledge?
4) What caused you to pursue the use of pornography while you were married? Was your wife lacking in looks or attractiveness?
Men and women see porn and sex most differently.
So even if I were to answer these questions you are unlikely to get satisfying answers or ones that pertain to your situation.
I could ask my own questions.
Is sex used as a CONTROL mechanism in your marriage?
Men do not get rejected by porn.
Did you ever reject your husband? Did he ever reject you?
Do you feel attractive?
It sounds like your husband was aware that you knew of his addiction and you are upset because he did nothing about YOUR feelings. Is he responsible for YOUR feelings?
