not sure how far gone we are...

[SeanB]

MrBond,
you're correct. In my post I did write it that way. But the truth is I know that I share blame. Equally if not actually more.
I had turned into an emotional reactor. Over reacting with emotional outbursts that were far over what the situation called for. I never shouted, that is not my demeanor. But I made it obvious I was angry in those moments. I started IC, something I knew I had to get back to. I had stopped being happy go luck into an unhappy mess. We still would have our great happy moments, but then something might happen that I might not appreciate, but I would act like it was an intentional personal assault on me. The truth is wekept doing this bad mix of me reacting and her getting hurt/angry but not resolving anything.
We had a fairy tale start beginning to our marriage and had seemingly lost that magic.
Still loving each other, but growing distant. Over the past year I grew to be a jealous and insecure person. She, in kind, became more distant and sought happiness outside the home.
We continued this downward spiral that would eventually see a few events become breaking points.

Since this post, and actually prior t it. I started to realize just how seriously in danger we are.
But the first part is for me to work on me.
To be happy again. To find not so much WHEN I began sliding in my personal happiness, but WHY and HOW and more critically, how to not repeat those mistakes.
The power of happiness in my marriage was always in my hands, as well as hers, we just both seemed to let it rest in the other's grasp.

I just hope that we can find our way to a new happiness.