Zew, I've been reading your thread and I think you're getting some great advice. If your W is having an Affair, then you need evidence to confront her. For me, a PA was a deal-breaker. When I found out my W crossed that line on a one-night stand with somebody that she had only met a day earlier, I told her she had to leave the house. Not the bed, the house.
Your message to a WAW or a MLC has to be like you're talking to a kid. you could say,
"W I know you're having an affair. It is disrespectful of me and our marriage. I want you to either stop the affair, or move out."
Then give her conditions on what stopping an affair means: no contact, transparency, etc.
Unless you have evidence, the WAW will continue to deny the affair.
Otherwise, continue to DB, do 180s, be unpredictable, and make her think that you are willing to end this. My W actually was concerned that I no longer wanted to be married.
