Take Two ...

[Train]

Just got a call from a friend whose neighbor is friends with OW.

She said OH is divorcing OW, filing for child support, alimony AND full custody of D11.

I wanna give him an "attaboy" right now. Except he asked me not to contact him. So I won't.

H had told me a few weeks ago that he had told OW he would pay any/all her legal fees associated with me "going after her." (He didn't mention paying her legal fees for D, but I wouldn't put it past him since he's "in love" with her. He's also stingy with his money.) He says he takes full responsibility for the A, and he's willing to pay, financially, for her.

Now my concern is that H - who has unilaterally decided to keep our sizable (at least sizable for *us*) income tax return for himself and offered to pay out of that fund any "legit legal bills" I bring him - is going to be paying for HER an atty because she went to the neighbor with a sob story about how she has no money for one. The neighbor is going to offer her some money, to help her fight for custody of D11. But I am thinking H will offer her some, too.

I'm not sure how to handle this. My L has asked me not to rock the boat with H because once I do, I'll take a financial hit. But I'm going to be TICKED if I DON'T try to get my hands on half the tax refund (I *am,* after all, a single mom of 4, and it would be very helpful) ... and then he turns around and gives it to OW for an atty.

Am I projecting? This would be synonymous, though, with using our family $ to pay for OW. But without me having access to H's current bank account, I won't know what he's doing with that $ that's legally supposed to be half-mine.

I don't know what the heck to do with this one. Seems I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Obviously it's a question for my atty, but this is a move that may require some tactic and strategy. Should I say something to H, or no?