Yes she has contacted me. Mostly we talk about kid stuff, but she also told me she talked to our pastor, who knows everything. It wasn't a planned thing, just a chance encounter. She seemed annoyed by it, probably because he told her that she has to put her feelings behind her, and dedicate herself to rebuilding her marriage. She didn't like that at all. She kind of seems to be back to it being her decision of whether this relationship is over. Which if she is then I'm not sure why I'm bothering. Probably because I'm still stuck in save the marriage mode that I haven't really adjusted to this new situation.
One of the things holding her back is that she thinks Im going to resent the kid. I haven't told her anything yet, but I would like her to know that I wouldn't.
The thing is I have a lot of questions I would like to know. Like does she not want to tell anyone because if we stayed together we would just pretend its my kid. I don't really want to do that. I guess I would do that for our kids for a while until they're older.
I would also like to know if OM's parents know or if they are going to know. I've talked to them in the past (before all this) and they had planned on moving in the next few years. If they never find out and they move away in the next year I would stay in my house ( I would like to stay in the house as it would be a financial burden to sell it and I would like to keep a consistent life for my kids if a new baby is being brought into their life).
If they do find out and are sticking around then I don't wants be around them. They did nothing wrong, but that would just be too weird.
Is it wrong of me to ask her so many questions? I feel like I need to know these things for our future.
