Then I would at least figure out a monthly amount for her REASONABLE family expenses, and give her THAT amount of cash. If she then spends it on going out drinking with her girlfriends, that's up to her, but there's only going to be $x/month, and no more.
In my wife's case, I figured groceries, hair CUTS (but not coloring), reasonable drugstore expenses (again, no hair coloring), $x/week in gas, health insurance and auto insurance .. plus our usual mortgage payment and utilities.
NO to hair coloring, NO to her credit card payments that were being used to pay off her tummy tuck, NO to her cellphone (because she was using it to carry on her affair) -- basically NO to anything that was making her look younger and more attractive to someone other than her husband, and no to anything that wasn't contributing to the family.
For those things, she added more and more hours to her part-time work as a personal trainer, and she found a way to pay them herself.
Oh, and a big-fat "NO" to paying for her legal retainer. Turned out OM paid for that!
