Why doesn't she open her own checking account if she's working?
commission based. It will likely be 3 months before she sees a dime. She has startup costs now, and her spending exceeds what I'm paying on her card monthly. By the time she gets first check, she will likely have maxed out that card. She's got some debt to deal with that I won't touch.
and now I will wander through tea leaves and crystal ball land... (don't worry)
W figures that in about a year, she will have sold enough to be financially independent enough to survive D. So she wants to be nice and quiet and tolerate me for that time, eating cake, then whammo, file. OM files at same time. Then 6 to 18 months of contentious negotiations later, she and OM live happily ever after. What could go wrong?
She's counting on me to hang around until she's ready. She knows she's financially vulnerable. She has fully convinced herself that she hates me and I never loved her. She wants me to be gone, except for that money thing. She thinks she can string me along as long as she needs to. Once she has a few big sales under her belt, filing will be possible for her. That will be a major decision for her. I don't know how much it depends on OM filing or not. Once she files, I don't see her ever turning back.
As you know, I can work on this for some period, but not indefinitely. I'm almost 5 months into this now. There would be financial penalties to me if I go too soon before we can establish an annual income for her. I certainly don't intend to plan my life on that fact, just saying finances will affect kids too. Sadly, she has never been able to save anything ever (which partially explains my grip on the finances all these years), so I am concerned about their financial future. i.e. anything I lose in D will be gone quickly, forever. Financial reality will not treat her kindly.
Summer will change things. OM will be busy with work. W will be in peak sale season. Kids will be home from school. I'm afraid they will be spending a lot of time alone and eating a lot of chicken nuggets.
I fully realize that I can't base anything on her state today because she is all over the map. I can continue to make changes in me that she sees and doesn't appreciate, at least, so she says today. Since I'm doing that for me and kids, I need no validation from her. That gets me a few months down the road.
My vacation in July will be some kind of pivot point. I'm still thinking it through, and things will change between now and then, but I wonder about spending 2 weeks in isolation with her in this state. At one point, she wanted to bring along one of D12's friends. I don't even know if W plans to go anymore. It could be the isolation we need (no OM, no texting). She may prefer an OM-fest at our house with no H or kids. I'm thinking that if she's in her current state, I really don't want to put up with that on my vacation, I'd rather just spend time with the kids. I also realize that I'm slowly building my own wall, and by July she really won't be able to rain on my parade anymore. Too many variables, so I'll stop, but starting to plan ahead.
Anyway, spring is almost here and I plan to start cleaning out the basement, getting the house ready to list.
