Yep, agree that it isn't surprising at all that the OW is less attractive and has less going on. I think it makes the wayward feel more important. Who knows? In my case, the OM was good looking, but made half my income, wasn't nearly as smart (according to the W later) and had no hobbies or interests. What he did do, however, was feed my wife's ego - big time.
I'm sure that your Hs OW is seriously intimidated by you, and it's her insecurity that is causing her juvenile behavior. I'm picturing a small, mange ridden, mutt puffing up its chest and yapping at a Rottweiler. Whaaaatever....
Keep playing it the same. I see this girl being bat sh*t crazy. Your H is in for a wild ride!
All the better for meeeeee! I'll make the popcorn. Y'all c'mon over.
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I think it makes the wayward feel more important.
And I think you are dead-on. It's entire speculation on my part, of course, but I think - if their self-esteem is so poor that they turn to an A to boost their ego - then it stands to reason that they'd pick somebody "beneath" them ... or at least "beneath" their spouse. They must have someone to make them feel BETTER about themselves ... not WORSE. Clearly.
H's OW apparently had her stomach stapled a couple years ago (even though I've never seen a photo of her in which she looks obese). She ain't nothin' to write home about, but she's not obese. A friend's sister worked with her and said she has terrible self-esteem. And I read in texts with H how she was popping "anxiety meds" during her D11's dance competition.
Sooooo, yeah. Pretty much my polar opposite.
Here's the thing, though: HS, I've been reading "His Needs, Her Needs." One of the Top 5 "needs" of most men is for their spouses to be physically attractive.
I guess the book is speaking only in terms of spouses ... and not A partners? 'Cause, see, that just doesn't make much sense to me. Why do *I* have to be pretty? But she doesn't?
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
(Maybe it's also relative; maybe he DOES find her pretty. And we just have wayyyyyy different taste in attractiveness. There's always THAT possibility ... )
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
I guess the book is speaking only in terms of spouses ... and not A partners? 'Cause, see, that just doesn't make much sense to me. Why do *I* have to be pretty? But she doesn't?
Maybe because she's forbidden? You know, the whole "taboo" thing?