YE21, I have been where you are and occasionly am back there. And I will stay there until the pain becomes great enough that I DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
In AA they say the 'the phone can weigh 1000 pounds'. Meaning, making the call for help is monstrously difficult. However, admiting to oneself that you can't do something, can't fix something, can't do something better by yourself, IS DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
There is no shame in that admission. Doing something different could mean counseling, could mean anti depressents, could mean attending church. Like anti depressents, sometimes you have to try several over a period of time to find what works for you.
I hate asking for help. It is ingrained in me not to and I don't know why. But I had to ask for help this week from some freinds and my sister. I had to just simply talk to someone who cared and it worked wonders for me. But before I did, I had to suffer enough to push me to it.
me 41 w43 married 20 years BD 10/10/13 ILYBNILWY.... 4 kids, 21,18,8,6
