How about from what YOU think ???
The way I feel is that what I think and feel as long its not happiness and positiveness basically doesn't matter, and when I am not in that state of feeling happy and positive basically I get rejected, I wish my W could it had wait for me to solve this and walk with me that path but she couldn't, and I am going to express my feelings now, I am scared of saying all this, of expressing how I feel because I think that even you guys will get tired of hear me and will leave me to deal with my own issues and honestly its not that I don't want to fix myself, its just that I don't know how, thats why I am here, I am completely lost all the time not knowing ever what decision to take because I feel always that it will be the wrong one and thats why I relay so much in everybody and not on me, because I don't believe myself, I believe every decision I take its directed towards destruction.

I am always scared of saying how I feel, very few times my feelings were validated, and instead I will always suffer consequences, I sound like a victim and I do believe I am a victim of myself.

What are some qualities that YOU feel that you have as well ??

Here its a great example, I speak 7 languages and I cant be more than a waiter, besides of having experience in restaurants over the world for like 14 years.

I believe I am a hard worker, and punctual, and responsible, but I always depend of what the others think about me, so for example: yesterday I was working in the restaurant and serve cheese to a customer, a little bit of cheese felt on his pants (parmigiano with a machine bringed to the table) and he and his friend started to make fun of me....and at the end thats the way I feel always like a mess, I want a simple life were I can appreciate the things I have, were I don't get hurt anymore but that for me, its the most complicated thing to achieve, I can always be a waiter but I truly doubt that I can ever be anything else, I wish I can have a better life and my W leaving just showed me how much of a loss for myself I am....

I was feeling happier but now I feel it was a lie, because after the email from yesterday I can see what a big lie I live in, I don't like myself in anyway anymore and I am really tired, when I show my feelings there is always somebody there to tell me: dont be a victim or come on bro life its great, stop complaining.

Not my life, my life its not beatiful I can switch and show to others to appreciate life, I can give good advice but when I go back to be with myself I blame my parents and God to put me in this nightmare that its me, a lonely person who cant make any friends, a guy that always ask himself, why I come to work and nobody ask me: how are you? How was your day? And I dont know why when I try to talk to all them I dont know how to do it..

This is so painful, its really awful just to be me, to live the way I live, just hurting others without realizing it.
Sorry guys I needed to say all that.

When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.